The 7 Habits

As my summer started it was boring and quiet. I didn't do much and didn't really feel like doing anything. I started my days with a little music, went job hunting, and came home to talk to my friends online. I missed them and I didn't feel like making new friends. Then once I started working I realized that I missed being around people more than I could stand and I needed to do something about it. I started setting goals for myself and having restrictions. I've always been kind of bad at time management, and I've decided that this summer is my time to change that. I also wanted to improve on my communication skills that I learned in COMM 150 because without the practice you just lose skills like that. So I bought "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven R. Covey. That's what our a lot of our lessons were based on and I never did read it, so I need to get on that! This summer is my time to learn time management so I will be fully ready to take on my classload this fall and this time I'll do it!

a journal from class...

I found the article posted on blackboard very interesting and and interesting way to look at interpersonal relationships and expectations in the workplace. When I was reading it though I didn't only apply the principles to a work setting but also to relationships I have with my roommates, family, friends, and aquaintances. It really is true that if we want to make our relationships more effective we have to change ourselves. If I have problems with the other person in my relationships it is more effective for my to change my tactics than to expect them to change for me. If I change they will have to change, hopefully in a positive way, if not, then I'll have to change something again. I really think patience is the key to this. Even as I was beginning to write this I had an encounter where I separated my stimulus from my response and avoided a conflict. I didn't react to a comment that was offensive because honestly it isn't worth my effort. In the relationship with this person we have a history of conflicting views and even though things she says to me might not be the kindest, I can change the relationship by saying nice things back and showing her that we don't have to fight, that we can work with our differences to form a better relationship. But for now I think I'll head to class.

Here Is The End

Well,
It was real,
It was fun,
Too bad it wasn't real fun.

JK!!! I loved this semester so much and I learned so much about how to effectively communicate. Anyone reading this who wasn't in the class, PLEASE read the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven R. Covey!

Parrot Please

I don't think its just me, but I'm getting pretty tired of the role play in class. After 2 months of trying to learn empathic listening, you'd think we'd be able to finish it up, even if it was a collective effort. When I had my turn I had a difficult time, but I think I did pretty well. Now I'm just at a point where I'm almost too frustrated to even try anymore. It was pretty exciting on Wednesday when we FINALLY found out where the one worker had been for the weekend. I was getting the feeling that Brother Adams had dragged the subject on so long that he forgot what the problem was in the first place. As a class we are all really close now, and I think that because of that we have a harder time doing the actual work. It got a little out of hand last time when everyone expressed their feelings on how normal the role play is. I didn't say anything because it was driving me crazy listening to other people. What I think is that the role play isn't exactly the way a situation would be handled in real life, but I think that everyone needs to trust Brother Adams a little more. He's obviously got a lot more experience than any of us and he also knows what to do to teach us the right way to go about learning how to communicate effectively. We need to put aside what we know because its just getting in the way. Before we can learn how to use our new communication skills in real settings we have to pratice in the idealized situation. I know that it is frustrating to go through role play situations that seem unnatural, but they are easier and will teach us the principles. Once we've mastered, or at least improved, at the role play situations we'll be more prepared to move on to tougher stuff. For now lets just all try our best to figure this one out ok? We're almost done with it!!!
[and halfway done with the semester :( ]

Interpersonal Conflict

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

This article that I found is on how to deal with interpersonal conflict. It lists the different kinds of communication that can be used in situations where there is conflict and the pros and cons of each one and what kind of situations they should and shouldn’t be used in. The five types of conflict communication are avoidance, accommodation, compromise, competition, and collaboration. None of these styles are above or below each other; they are all just for different situations. I think this is a good way of thinking. We tend to categorize things by matter of importance, but sometimes everything is equally important and what you do really just depends on the context.
There is another section of this article that is titled “Creative ways to manage conflict.” If we go into disagreements and conflicts with a negative attitude and angry thoughts it will only make things harder. My favorite ways that they suggest to go about effectively solving conflicts are to accept that the conflict is going to occur, not insisting that you are right, and choosing the right time to confront the issue. I can’t stand it when there is an issue hanging in the air and those involved don’t take the initiative to fix the problem, it only drags it on longer and makes it more complicated and hurtful when its time to solve the issue. We know that we are not all perfect people, so then there is always room for the other person to be right, even when we are positive that our answer is the right one. I know that I need to be able to soften up a little bit and be more open to other’s ideas and accept that what they think is right.
The last idea that was one of my favorites is to choose the right time to confront the issue. If we do it in the heat of the moment and don’t give ourselves time to think things through we are likely to say the wrong thing and make the argument even worse. Timing can really be everything.

We don’t remember days, we remember moments. If we confront those issues right away then those moments will be shorter and life will be more enjoyable.

Slacker, Music, and A Great Depression Poem

I’m such a slacker it’s not even funny. This religion paper is just going to sneak up on my and BAM! I’m gonna fail Book of Mormon. How does that happen?? It’s my least favorite class ever. I don’t like that religion classes are required, or how hard they are! Religion shouldn’t be based on test scores and homework grades. I don’t learn anything when I show up to class. That could be because of my bad attitude towards it. I never want to be there because I don’t have good experiences in that classroom. Last semester my religion class was ok, and I made some really good friends, but this semester I can’t connect with anybody. If my friend Amanda wasn’t there I don’t think I would have any motivation to go. All we do is read for homework, then with each reading assignment we’re supposed to do these assignments that are just busy work but they are kind of frustrating. Then we have to write down three thoughtful questions we had in our reading. 3 thoughtful questions?!?! What is that supposed to mean? I know I don’t know everything about the first half of the Book of Mormon, in fact I don’t know a lot, but I don’t develop questions when I read, its just not what happens in my brain! I still need to get in the habit of reading to do it, and then I can develop the skill of reading for what’s there. Right now I do it for the stories. I know that everything in that book is true, don’t get me wrong, but there’s more there and I know I’m not getting it.

School is so hard and everything is distracting, even a blank wall in front of me is more exciting than doing my homework, and the thing is that I want to do my homework because I like the subjects I’m taking (except for religion). Why is it that I can’t get myself to study something I’m interested in? I think that switching to be an art major is one of the best things I’ve ever done because now most of my classes will have project based assignments and aren’t the type that are aimed at helping you pass tests. I think that when classes are taught toward tests something is missing. There’s no passion involved, it’s learning for the sake of a letter.

I love my new clothes and I can’t wait to wear them!!!!
I hope that I can get my work done tomorrow when Lindsey’s at the orthodontist and the dentist. If not, I’m screwed.
I really like music. Have I mentioned that once or twice before? We had an iPod party yesterday because Lindsey bought one and both of her brothers got one for their birthdays. We all passed around our iPods and got new tunes. On the way to class the other day, Megan and I heard this song on the radio and we fell in love with it, then just yesterday Brayden was singing it! I was like nooooo way!!! Wanna know what it was? “Cupid’s Chokehold” by Gym Class Heroes. Nice huh?
I’m going to give you a little update on what my ears, heart, and mind like to listen to.

Call and Return (Say That You're into Me)-Hellogoodbye
Touchdown Turnaround-Hellogoodbye
Your Taste Is My Attention-Lydia
Q-Cartel
A-Cartel
The Minstrel’s Prayer-Cartel
Definitely Maybe-FM Static
Timberwolves at New Jersey-Taking Back Sunday
Monster-Meg & Dia
Busta Move-Young MC
All That I’ve Got-The Used
(Pop Song) She Kissed Me-Front Line
Thnks Fr Th Mmrs-Fall Out Boy
Hum Hallelujah-Fall Out Boy
Dark Blue-Jack’s Mannequin
The Curse Of Curves-Cute Is What We Aim For
and a lot of Mozart, Bach, Schumann, Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, Schubert, Grieg, and Chopin. Didn’t expect them did you?


I’ve been looking through some things I wrote in High School and I found this poem that I wrote about The Great Depression:

Two men rugged and worn with age are standing
leaning against a filthy window
one with his back to the camera p
erhaps ashamed of the state he is in
the other man in tattered overalls has a cap pulled down
shadowing the forlorn look on his experienced face

I have felt this hunger before
depression is not new to me
but now the water is gone
and I plow nothing but storms of dust
that will choke my children’s lungs the people come

B-B-Boise

Here I am after another busy week at school. Only it’s not quite the “here” that I’m used to. After class yesterday we loaded up the car and now I’m sitting on the floor in a bare room with bright orange walls with no internet connection. In other words, I’M IN BOISE!!! Wahoooooo! Lindsey decided that it was time I experience more than Boise than just the airport and Holiday Inn. It’s obvious that this is the bedroom of a college student that has left home because all of her things have been either packed to school or put away. I wish that when I went home I could have my own room, but it was taken over by my little sisters, so I get the floor instead. Oh goody!!
I’m not complaining about Boise or anything, in fact I’ve had a really good time so far and its nice to have a little alone time from noisy fighting roommates. Nobody here but me and my cookie crisp cereal and Lindsey doing her homework on the other side of her bed. Today we went shopping, which is always nice. We made it “splurge-on-yourself-because-you-deserve-it-every-now-and-then” day. I got 2 shirts from Aeropostale, one with pandas and bamboo and one that’s “aloe green” with stripes. I also got a t-shirt from Hot Topic (eww, I know) but it was The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I’ve had this undying urge to buy a new band t-shirt, so I had to satisfy that need before I exploded. After that I was pretty sure that I had spent enough, but this sweater on sale at Gap kept calling my name, so I brought it home with me too! Summer at home is always sweater weather anyways, and the panda shirt looks really cute underneath it!

For those of you that weren’t there, Valentine’s Day in Brother Adam’s class was another loverly day. I ran into Rachel at lunch and told her about the valentines I had in my backpack that I wanted to write out for everyone in the class. She was totally enthusiastic about the idea and together we wrote out everyone’s name and wrote them each a little message on the highly commercialized cards. Some of those valentines had been taking up space in my drawer since 8th grade! Right when class ended we announced that we needed everyone to stay seated for just a minute, then we played mailman and passed out the cards to everyone. You should have seen their faces! It made my soul tingle to see everyone light up at the idea of a valentine just for them! Don’t you remember back to the elementary school days when everyone had to give a valentine to everyone in the class, even the icky boys? Well, why does the holiday change as you get older? I’ve missed the days when everyone showed that they cared, so I decided to take advantage of the fact that I knew everyone’s name.

Well, to the point that I should be talking about right now, class on Friday. We looked over some PowerPoint slides that I can’t see right now because I don’t have an internet connection, but I do vaguely remember what they were about. We talked about how we have waves of change with everything we do. We start new tasks and gradually get better and better at what we’re doing, and then we have to make a change and learn to start over because the old method just isn’t effective anymore. We watched a clip from “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” because there is a part where they have to jump into a river from a cliff. On guy says to the other, “I can’t swim!!!” and the older man says, “That doesn’t really matter because the fall with probably kill you anyways.” There are times when we have to switch to something we don’t know how to do, but the hardest part is always the switch, it’s even harder than the adjustment.

So I’m really in a writing mood today and I don’t really know why. Part of it could be because I have a 3 page religion paper that I have to write this weekend and I want to do it, but I have absolutely no self discipline and can’t focus on in. Do you know that feeling when your friends meet up with their old friends and just leave you out? It’s so awkward!! And that’s what I’m getting right now, so I thought I’d take a little break from it. Here’s a little update on what I’ve been listening to for the past few days, Hellogoodbye. YESSSSS!!! For some reason I’m really liking the techno-ish-ness of it. I still am in love with Armor for Sleep too. I miss my best friend so much. She made me listen to them more often, and now whenever I heard the song “The Truth About Heaven” I think about her and the books “Twilight” and “New Moon” by Stephanie Meyer. And it didn’t help at all that we watched “Dirty Dancing Havana Nights” last night. That’s our movie!!! Dnag. Its great to have a best friend, but it makes the time apart even harder.